I almost hit my dog and I feel so horrible.

I almost hit one of my dog out of frustration and I felt really bad that it almost happened. I sacrificed too much for them that there’s nothing left for myself and this feeling of guilt that I blame them for my own misfortunes makes me feel like a horrible human being.

For context, I was trying to give him his insulin shot and he was being frisky that I almost tumbled the vial of insulin. It made me really upset since if it dropped and spilled I wouldnt be able to afford a new one.

I’ve been starving myself since I spent every penny left that I got to get his insulin and other medications that there’s nothing left for myself. I was contemplating if keeping him was the right move and I keep telling myself that it was but I’m not that sure anymore. He already lost his furparent when my friend took his own life and I had to step in so abandoning him again just doesnt feel right.

Just started my job this week and I won’t get paid for another 3 weeks so I’m not sure how long I can take this. I’m genuinely contemplating my life choices.