My dog just died

I got her when I was 12 , I’m now 19 My best friend just died and I can’t stop crying , she was the best always welcoming me after school , always being here for me and I wasn’t .

I’m the worst owner on this planet , I got this internship 2 weeks ago and her last 2 weeks were the days I spent the less time loving her I was always too tired , too busy

That’s bullshit I just didn’t deserve her She had a chance to live , I saw her vomiting her meal yesterday she often did that when she ate random flowers but always in small quantities

This time it was not small , but I disregarded it for me she was like always , if I paid more attention to her I would have know .

This morning when I woke she was barely breathing , I rushed to the vet at 7 am but her death was announced at 3pm from food poisoning she ate a rat repellent the maids had put in the garage

I know it’s dumb she can’t even read But I’m so sorry I’m sorry I wasn’t the best owner , I am sorry bc you were here for me more than I was here for you I’m sorry because maybe you died thinking I don’t love you and knowing I could have prevented your death is the worst punishment ever I love you