Today started without my Baby Jo

I ended up putting him down because of his melon sized tumor and multiple tumors Inside...they just kept coming...even inside his body you could see the little and big ones formed a growing. He still had so much life in him and energy ...I know he did so I feel so guilty and I miss him so much. I feel like he just looked so scared before he fell asleep and I cried a cry I've never cried before

....I wish I could go back to the day the vet said he was fine (they said the tag wasnt a tumor) ....and took him to another vet to get a better check up on his skin. His condition worsened right in front of me for years... up until the day that tumor started to suck the life out him and he needed so many surgeries that vets just weren't willing to do or could guarantee that he would get better after.🥲 he was a fighter all the way to the end. And I miss my love bug so much.