Goodbye, Lucy...

We've had her for 11 years and rescued her as an adult dog, so she was 14-15 years old. She'd been on a downward cycle for the last couple of years - lost most of her hearing, couldn't see well, doggie dementia (likely exacerbated by lack of hearing/vision). On a walk earlier this week, I noticed that she was slower than normal getting up the hill to the house and was shaky when we did get home. Woke up the next morning to her not being able to stand up and throwing up bile. I tried a few things to see if it would help but nothing did and I decided it was time to let her go.

She gets car sick and -hates- the vet, and I didn't want her last memories to be that, so I found a vet that would come to the house. I fed her all of her favorite foods and made her as comfortable as possible for her last hours. It sucked but I think it was the right thing.

Looking back I now feel guilty for the impatience I had with her. With bad hearing, trying to get her back in the house was a challenge at times and it always seemed to be hardest when I had someplace I needed to be. I also feel guilty because we have 2 dogs with very different personalities. Our old dog was a gentle giant (unless you happened to be a small animal or an aggressive larger dog, then she was a flying fury of fur) but definitely a "dog". She protected the pack - was always on guard. A bit aloof maybe. Our younger dog is like another child. He's completely worthless with the exception of giving affection, which he absolutely excels at. One spent 90% of her time looking out the window to protect us from squirrels and the neighbor's cats, and one is integrated into everything we do and has really acted as a surrogate child as my human kids have grown up and need me less. I treated them differently, but they were also very different animals.

She was an awesome dog and a wonderful part of our lives for 11 years. I also think we provided a wonderful life for her - especially given the circumstances we think she was facing when we adopted her.

The only bad thing about dogs is that they don't live as long as we do. I think that's because they give their love so freely and unconditionally and just burn out. We don't deserve them but I'm am glad we have them.

Enjoy yourself on the other side of the bridge, Lucy. Chase those squirrels and skunks and enjoy your naps and cheese. No more baths, no more vets, no more achy hips. Thank you for being such a great friend and protector. You were a wonderful girl.