RIP Judge The Dog

Attached is a short story about my dog and I. He was the best. I hope you enjoy this if you read it or you can at least find value in it.

Judge The Dog

I got Judge when I was 19, I was living with my grandma and had just bought my little house. The only reason I was able to get him is because I got meningitis and I was going to be home for a few months. I knew my grandma didn't want me to have a dog in her house but I went and got him anyway after applying while in the hospital. I didn't know a lot about taking care of a dog but I thought I could do it cause I had always loved dogs so much. I know I felt like everyone in my family thought I wasn't going to take good care of him.

It was a very bad snow storm the day I went to get him. I was still very sick but not contagious. The day I got approved to go get him Joe dirt and I dug my truck out of the snow and he drove us to a very nice neighborhood in Connecticut to get him.

I'll never forget walking in the house and seeing Judge come out on a red leash for the first time. He was so shiny he looked like a little black wolf.

We took him to the pet store got him a collar and some food and toys. Getting back to my grandmas house Judge ran around like a wild animal weaving in and out of the snow. Of course my grandma immediately fell in love with him and was cooking him eggs. We spent the next few weeks basically trapped in my house because I couldn't work and was still sick from meningitis. I got to spend so much time with him before returning to work and if I am able to remember correctly my grandma had a broken leg at the time so she was also home a ton to be with him.

A few months later it was time to move into our own house. This was big for me being on my own with the dog I wanted so badly. I was working a demanding full time job at the time and my dog had to be home alone all that time. He learned very well and eventually my friend Matt moved in who went to work later than me. Judge became really close with Matt, I will never forget when I would leave for work early I would let Judge out and start my truck. Judge would come back in the house and sprint to Matt's room to sleep with him until it was time to get up. We had so much fun back then. Judge would go on long walks play fetch bark at dogs, just be a good as dog can be. Even tho while learning to be off leash I destroyed my knee frantically chasing him down River Ave, only for him to see me fall and turn around.

Some time later I was upset and not myself so I decided to move to Colorado. I loaded Judge in the truck with my bed on a trailer and I drove myself out there without really knowing anyone there or what would happen. I moved Judge into an even smaller apartment in a basement with very small windows. This is where I learned a lot about what having a dog can entail because I had no support system to help me. It was me and my goals learning to responsibly take care of Judge . I made some mistakes during this time like leaving him for too long, Not wanting to walk him far enough after long days, putting him in boarding for a week and never having even taken him there before, walking him on a hot side walk, oh and I would make him run along side my bike for far to long of rides thinking it was good for him. I was young and dumb but Judge couldn't have cared more about me doing all of these things with a smile even after I yelled at him a few times for what I thought was mis behavior but was actually a result of me mistreating him. I learned so much about loving him then and what it required. The good times in Denver were incredible, we went on bike rides 🤣, we went to the grocery store, we went on amazing hikes, we made friends at dog parks, he had a greenhouse, his first experience living with a cat, it was just great times growing together.

We eventually moved back home to Rhode Island where Judge got to spend time staying with my grandma and mom for a bit while I lived there. I had for the most part really figured out what he needed by then we even got a little surgery to remove a gland in his eye (that eventually grew back) and with my mom and grandma around I was able to travel and do whatever I wanted. We got to enjoy Lincoln woods and he got to enjoy my grandmas beautiful backyard everyday running down the rock chasing critters and doing dog things. I for sure took this time for granted I didn't realize how special it really was for him and I.

Eventually because of my chaotic self it was time to move to St. Louis. Begrudgingly I packed up and Judge and I shipped out west again leaving what I now recognize was an incredible situation for us. We moved into a new house with plenty of space and I had a demanding job again. I was able to always make time for Judge and keep him In happy spirits with the time I had for him. My friend Phil would come in for a few days at a time to help out at work and he would stay with us, Phil would always walk Judge and spend time with him while I was at work cause Phil worked nights. This is also when I found jiu jitsu and at first it was a tough adjustment to work that into a routine with Judge but we figured it out with no real issues. This is also when we first started to really notice some decline in Judge s health because of his age. He ran less, didn't jump on people anymore to greet them, his growth in his eye was more pronounced than ever, and he started to limp regally and got on medication for it. I am sad to admit now this is when I started to really worry about him. Luckily because I wasn't home most of the day my first coach Eric gave me a kitten and she and Judge really bonded over a few months and became friends even tho they didn't want me to know that. Appa gave Judge some pep in his step and also challenged him in a new way. We were lucky to have a really good vet in Missouri who got him on a prescription that I think was good for him at the time.

One day after visiting this vet I noticed Judge wasn't acting right, he had just gotten a rabies shot and he was in the back yard for a long time, he wouldn't come in even with me calling him so I went out to get him. The look on his face was pure confusion I didn't recognize it at the time. I yelled at him to get in the house and we slowly made our way in. That night he could not get comfortable. Kept walking in circles or backwards. I was so frustrated with him cause I wanted to sleep. I eventually realized this wasn't a behavior issue but it was most likely doggy dementia. A whole new space to navigate, my buddy who I loved so much isn't feeling good at all. I spoke to a few friends and vets and started to make a plan.

Supplements, routine, home made food, anything I can do to improve his quality of life me thinking he had a very short time left. Then less than 6 weeks later I came home from work one day and I couldn't find Judge . This wasn't the first time since the dementia (I had even found him under the sink one time) but this time felt different. The energy in the house was off, the cat was frantic. I ran down to the basement and I found Judge laying there almost lifeless in a pool of bodily fluids. I didn't know what to do I picked him up called the vet and sped to an emergency vet. I assumed this was Judge s last ride, luckily whatever incident happened he made it through and just needed some fluids and a $1000 vet bill. After all this I really started to struggle with him emotionally, the fear of losing my best friend really started to set in and start affecting me, especially because with the dementia he would destroy things. I had to learn to set Judge up for long term success if I wanted to have him around. I learned ways to make him safe and comfortable when I was gone and I learned ways to take him even more places than ever.

We moved around the Midwest a bit and eventually made the trip back to Rhode Island, old grey Judge following me every step of the way.

Moving back to Rhode Island with an older Judge was hard, he had very special needs by this time basically needed care 24/7 to stay calm. I did everything I could in this time weather it was setting him up for success to be alone for a short time like barricading a stair case, locking him away from anything that could be dangerous to him, feeding him home cooked meals, taking him to my moms with very specific instructions, it did not matter if it kept my boy happy and comfy I would do it.

As time went in Judges hips started to hurt more and more, he started having accidents, he started to fall on walks that were once not nearly long enough. I could see my boy fading away. With a positive attitude I continued to do what I can for him, stopped traveling, taking him to work as needed, bringing him to the gym, whatever I could do to keep his spirits up and him invested. Alas in late may of 2026 one night Judge couldn't stand up, he just kept falling and trying all night. I assumed the worst as I usually do.

We packed up and went to see our super vet the next day and I honestly expected to not leave with him, but Ash gave me hope. He said let's try a steroid. Sure enough a few injections and some pills Judge was up moving pretty good again. I was so happy to have another chance with him. We spent the time just really soaking up each others company and enjoying short walks and our meals together. Pure bliss extra time.

In his final days Judge started to get nose bleeds and I knew this was a very serious issue for dogs. I took him to the vet and we found out his liver just couldn't handle anymore medicine and we did everything we could. He told me to enjoy my time and after a few days I could see my boy had just lost his spark, he didn't feel well, couldn't stand without help, was hesitant to use the bathroom. It was time to let my boy rest. I made the hard decision on 7/10 fitting for a hash dog and 7/11 became Judge day forever.

We sent him out with a pound of bacon and 4 eggs in his belly with roast beef to top it off. He was licking the grease till he fell asleep.

I love you more than I ever loved anything ever Judge I really hope there's a god of some sort and we can reconnect someway somehow I just feel our time will never be up. Rest easy sweet boy we will meet again.

As I lay here in what I have now come to terms either being the last night we will spend together I am overcome with a sadness I can not explain. I feel physically ill, I don't want to eat, I don't want to smoke, I just want to be with him forever and I can't. I'd give up all my worldly things to be able to spend eternity with my beloved dog but that's not a bargain I can make. I have little to no regrets I know in my heart this decision is best for him and myself. I love Judge more than I love anything he's the only thing that I have ever been able to love and not be hurt from, well I have now received my heart break. I will not allow this to stop me I'm going to do what's best for us tomorrow and then in time I will find my boy again or he will send me the next best thing, there is no replacing Judge but I will one day be able to share love again.

Sitting on the grass with Judge in his last hour, the pain has only grown. It becomes more real every second that passes. My boy will be gone. We have one small meal and a short by Judge standard car ride ahead of us. He was able to go to the bathroom and take his meds in his daily roast beef. I'll never feel right about this decision but I know nothing good happens if we wait longer. I'm letting my boy enjoy some sunshine and charge his battery one last time. I'm going to cook him bacon and eggs right before we go. My mom is pulling up now, she has the food and it's time to cook for him. I love Judge and my mom so much for helping me.