Now I Understand How it Feels

Today we said goodbye to our beloved dog Lucky.

I’m at a loss for how to articulate this feeling. Waves of immobilizing sorrow is the best I can do… so I’m going to try and work through this here.

We adopted Lucky - then named “Little Miss Piggy” - 11 years ago this month after she was found cast aside on the side of a road somewhere in Memphis. Shout out to the good people at St Hubert’s Animal Welfare in Madison, NJ.

She definitely hit the life lottery when she was adopted by us. Overnight she went from kennel cages to sleeping in our bed, cuddles, blankets, treats, silly nicknames, steak, dog toys and general abject spoiling by us.

But life wasn’t through with her. We soon realized she had a combination of an inability to see objects directly in front of her and T Rex from Jurassic Park vision (where she could only see objects in motion). While at times amusing, it also meant she never recognized anyone who came into the house, ever.

Additionally, she had two TTA surgeries for the equivalent of ACL tears in humans, which significantly reduced her mobility.

Finally, 2 years ago she was diagnosed with Hepatocellular Carcinoma (liver cancer). And as Father Time is undefeated, so is Big Fucking Asshole Cancer.

The cancer spread throughout her abdomen and recently got significantly worse, spreading to her pancreas and spleen. And then a tumor ruptured this past Thursday. She was bleeding internally, not eating, hiding from us, a shell of herself. We made the decision to put her down today.

We had the chance as a family to say goodbye to her, which was a blessing. But it’s hard to think of that now when all I want is to cuddle up for a nap with my little Lucky dog, the sweetest of them all.

Goodbye, Lucky.

We love you Luck Luck / Fizzy Bizz / Fuzzy Bumps / Little Nibs / Ms Smelly Paws.

Play well, until we are reunited again and cross over the Rainbow Bridge together.