Today I lost my best friend that helped me through my depression

In 2014 I saw a Facebook post about a stray dog that was very hurt and being threatned by neighbors. The post mentioned he was very sweet, just needed a loving family urgent as this neighborhood had a history of stray animals being poisoned. He showed up there with injuries as someone beat him. The moment I saw this post I knew I had to do something. At the time I already had a dog and before that one I had several others, my family always loved animals and I grew up surrounded by rescued pets.

But this time I felt it was my turn to do something. I begged my mom to go get him, and it wasn't that she didn't want to but as I mentioned, we had other dogs in the past and their deaths were very traumatic to her, she took care of every single one through their sickness and suffered a lot. After some time she agreed and we contacted the lady that posted his picture.

The lady didn't lie when she said he was a sweetheart, one of the sweetest dog I had ever met. In 2016 I went through a deep depression and I remember all I could think about was leaving this world. For months I couldn't leave my room and felt absolutely miserable. This went on for a long time but having him made me realize that even if I was suffering I had to be here. Being born allowed me to save him, my best friend. I had to be born, I wasn't useless as I had thought, I had a purpose, for once I did something important.

The other dog we had passed away in 2017, and Tony remained conforting us, he was me and my mother's company through out these years. I graduated, got into college, got started a second degree, had multiple relapses, got back on my feet, landed my first job and then my first big job later on, with him by my side.

I went on to rescue another dog and 3 cats and they all got along super well. Specially with one of my cats that loved playing with the dogs and being around them.

Today he left us and I'm absolutely heartbroken. Seeing his empty bed is devastating. He'll no longer as for biscuits with cream cheese, or jump whenever he saw his food was coming. I won't see him playing with the cats or barking at cars, or be mad because he liked to walk in zig zag when going for a walks nearly making me trip on him. He's not coming back.

Tony, my best friend, the sweetest dog I have ever met, you really just needed love and we loved you so so much. I wish we could have had more time together. I wish I could hug you again, give you some carrots as you so loved them so much. I'm sorry I took too long and these people hurt you out there. I'm sorry I should have spent more time with you, played more with you. I will always remember you and love you.

Sorry for the rant guys I don't know what to do, this hurts so much, I can't believe he's gone. I don't want to go on like this. If anyone has any comforting words I really appreciate it, it hurts like hell right now