Lost my Dakota on New Years Eve, I am feeling so alone.

We lost our Dakota on New Year’s Eve. She battled hemangiosarcoma for over two years. Despite clear imaging, she collapsed and stopped breathing that morning. I feel alone, guilty, and angry, all at the same time. Alone because I lost my one and only girl and the source of life and noise in my now quiet house. Guilty, because I couldn’t bring her back even when I gave her mouth to mouth, angry because I thought we had just a little more time and that rather than choosing a day to say goodbye, she was taken from me before I had a chance to give her a day of being spoiled.

I miss her so much and my heart feels like its been put through a blender, our nights are filled with silence that is deafening, and all the stupid firsts that we running into like a brick wall, not feeding her, not picking up her poop, not telling her to come inside when she was barking at the gate. Looking at her special diet food that I will never use again.

For everyone sitting with their pups now, please give them extra love tonight from all of us who have lost a pup. For those of us going through this pain right now, I hope our pups are all playing together free from pain waiting for the moment we see each other again.