I want another dog... but im terrified...

I had two beautiful boys, they were my life. I had a malamute named Dovahkiin, he was my first ever dog. he was my sassy prince turned sassy old man, would argue with you about everything but was still so sweet and patient... then there was my boy Hook he was a mutt maybe 75lbs. He was my best friend, i cant put into words how much this boy meant to me. He was the absolute sweetest thing, didnt have a mean bone in his body and he was so full of love. He was my mommas boy. I could look into his face and feel his love... i lost them both within 6 mos of each other... Dovah was first. He was 11, he had a stroke or something in his brain. We took him to the emergency vet and 11pm and left alone at 6 am.. that devastated me. I came home, curled up next to Hook and cried. I told him he better not leave me any time soon..... it was a few months later that he got sick. After several trips to the emergency vet... we ended up saying goodbye to him too, he was only 10... If Dovahs loss was hard, Hooks hit me like a truck... its been almost 2 yrs... im still heartbroken.. i miss them soo much and even thinking about them still makes me cry. Im crying while I type this out.

I miss having a companion. I miss having that love in my life, but like i said im absolutely terrified, i dont know if i can handle that inevitable goodbye.. especially if it comes sooner than expected. Plus I have little hope that any dog will be as incredible as Hook was... he was an angel... unless you were a squirrel 😆..i dont intend for any future dogs to replace Hook and Dovah, frankly I do not even beleive that a possibility.. im just stuck... i want another friend, i want a walk buddy and cuddle buddy again... i miss that unconditional love soo much.. but im horrified...