Had to put my 15 year old baby down yesterday morning

Her name was Isis.

Had her since I was 8 years old. She was a gift from my parents after my dad signed off on it of course. I left her in the care of a family member for several years while I dealt with chronic instability in my own life. I came back home for a minute with the intent of taking her with me to Paris to live with me and my future fiancee. I was just looking at tickets for the two of us last week.

She started having issues breathing on Monday night and didn't sleep. I was so stressed and took her to the vet early Tuesday morning. She was losing consciousness and struggling to walk even though she was giving it her all, and the vet said it was time to let her go. The vet said she was a strong little old lady because she kept eating and trying to remain mobile until the very end despite her vitals dropping rapidly. Even tried to fight off the vet tech and would only let me hold her.

I know she's up in heaven with my dad right now but lord does this hurt and I haven't been able to stop crying. I intend on burying her ashes in Paris and giving her a proper funeral. This dog was with me in elementary school, was one of the first to comfort my dad every time he got home from Iraq, was in the car with me and my mom when we dealt with homelessness, and was one of the only ones I wanted to see when I got the news my dad died.

I will miss her and hope she left knowing that she was so utterly loved, and got us through a lot of shitty life moments. I'm so upset she won't be with me in this more upbeat chapter, but I like to think she left because she knew we were alright and her job as our protecter was finally complete. This was the last video of her I took on Monday where we spent the entire day together💜